2011年雅思考试写作范例及点评

朗阁海外考试研究中心执行副总监 宁园

10.01.09

Some people believe that charity organizations should give aid to those in greatest need, wherever they live. Others think that charity organizations should concentrate on helping people who live in their own country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Model Response (Band 8)

While some people claim that assistance should be given first to those who need it the most, no matter what their geographical locations are, others argue that it is better for charity organizations to focus on helping local people who are disadvantaged. To my way of thinking, both arguments have their own reasons, which will be discussed in detail as follows.

On the one hand, there is no denying that giving people help from an international point of view is the most efficient. For one thing, different charitable organizations from different countries can use their specialties to achieve the optimum results. For another, not every unfortunate person needs help in the same way. Those poor people of many Third World nations are in the most urgent need of basic necessities, such as food, water, housing and medical care. Therefore, giving priority to those individuals when organizing charitable activities shows the real spirit of internationalism.

On the other hand, it is often true that concentrating on helping local people is the best policy. This is mainly because every country has only limited social and financial resources. It is simply impossible for any country to keep providing aid to poor people all over the world. Particularly in those African societies, their governments are hardly capable of getting their own citizens out of poverty. Moreover, as every donor likes to see how their money is spent, it is wise to focus charitable events on the local area to show them the results.

In conclusion, it seems that the two different approaches have their own advantages. Thus, it is suggested that when it comes to charity, rich countries should try to reach out to the neediest people in the world, whereas the first priority of poor countries should be dealing with their own problems, especially their socially and economically disadvantaged citizens.

朗阁海外考试研究中心独家点评

这是一道关于做慈善的不同方式的探讨题，其实正反双方的辩论焦点就落在international vs. local上面。主体段应从两种不同的视角去看，分别阐述各自的立场及理由，而这也是Discuss both sides题型最难的地方。该范文的论点展开依靠了大量的形容词最高级：the most efficient, the optimum results, the most urgent need, the best policy等等。而在最后结尾段，我们巧妙地把两者结合起来，指出富国应该采取international的慈善方式，而穷国则必须遵从local的慈善路线。

10.01.23

The gap between the rich and poor is becoming wider. While rich people are accumulating greater wealth, poor people are getting poorer. What problems can this situation bring to the society? And how can we reduce these problems?

Model Response (Band 8)

It is a shame that the economic gap between the rich and poor is widening in many societies, and the fundamental reason behind it is the uneven distribution of social wealth. To my mind, a wide range of serious problems have emerged, especially the rising crime rates; however, there are two effective approaches to these problems.

It goes without saying that the wider economic gap contributes greatly to social instability, which is the last thing any government or social elite wants to see. This is typically reflected in the fact that various crime rates, especially those violent crimes such as robbery and homicide, are rising in a society where there is a huge economic gap. On a less serious level, vandalism becomes a common phenomenon because poor people are either forced to steal public facilities and trade them for money or just express their great dissatisfaction with the existing social system.

As the government is largely responsible for these problems, it would be wise to establish fairer economic policies to narrow this gap. For example, rich people should be required to give a larger proportion of their income to the government as tax, while poor people who are struggling to make ends meet should receive better social benefits and greater financial assistance from government-sponsored charities. Only in this way can social wealth be distributed more evenly.

In addition, creating more employment opportunities for the economically disadvantaged is a good solution to the widening gap. If poor people are given a regular job, they can have a steady income and start their savings. Alternatively, providing free education to children from low-income families is another way out. Since good education ensures the road to personal success, this can help millions of people to get out of their poverty and change their fate forever.

To summarize, this kind of economic polarization that can trigger serious social unrest is something we must avoid at any cost. To maintain social order, the government needs to make greater efforts to relieve poverty-related problems, reduce unemployment rates among the grass roots and impose heavier taxation on wealthy people.

朗阁海外考试研究中心独家点评