沈阳派特森雅思:雅思写作常见错误精准分析

不间断句子（run-on sentences）

　　什么叫不间断句子，请看下面的例子：

　　1. There are many ways we get to know the outside world.

　　分析：

　　这个句子包含了2层完整的意思“There are many ways”以及“we get to know the outside world”，简单地把它

们连在一起就不妥当了。

　　改为：There are many ways for us to get to know the outside world.或者There are many ways through which

we can become acquainted with the outside world.

　　l    措辞毛病（troubles in diction）

　　措辞是指在特定的句子中如何恰当地选用词语的问题，由于很多因素的制约，比如上课时间有限，老师在这方面作的

指导相对来说就比较少，因此导致了学生在平时写作中没有养成良好的推敲，斟酌的习惯。他们往往随心所欲，拿来就用

。所以作文中措辞不当的地方比比皆是：

　　1. The increasing use of chemical obstacles in agriculture also makes pollution.

　　(农业中不断增加的化学物质的使用也造成了污染)

　　分析：

　　显然，考生把“obstacles”“障碍物”当做“物质”来使用了，另外，“the increasing use”（不断增加的使用）

应该改为“abusive use”(滥用)。

　　改为：The abusive use of chemical substance in agriculture also leads to pollution.

　　l    累赘（redundancy）

　　建议考生们在写作中语言以简洁为贵，写句子没有一个多余的词；写段落没有一个无必要的句子。能用单词的不用词

组；能用词组的不用从句或者句子，如：

　　1. In spite of the fact that he is lazy, I like him.

　　分析：

　　本句中的“In spite of the fact that he is lazy”是同位语从句，按照我们上面说的能用词组不用从句，

　　改为：In spite of his laziness, I like him.

　　2. For the people who are diligent and kind, money is just the thing to be used to buy the things they

need.

　　分析：

　　整个句子太罗嗦，可以大大简化：

　　改为：Diligent, caring people use money only to buy things they need.

　　l     不连贯（incoherence）

　　不连贯是指一个句子前言不搭后语，或者是结构上不畅通，这也是考生经常犯的错误之一。如：

　　1. The fresh water, it is the most important things in the world.

　　分析：

　　“the fresh water”与逗号后的it不连贯，it与things在数方面不一致。

　　改为：The fresh water is the most important thing in the world.

　　l     综合性语言错误（comprehensive misusage）

　　所谓综合性语言错误是指在雅思写作中除了上述10种错误外的诸如时态，语态，标点符号，大小写等错误。如：

　　1. Today money to everyone is very importance, our’s cloths, live, eat, go etc.

　　分析：

　　“our”是人称代词的所有格形式，可以单独作形容词使用，没必要使用’s形式，而且后面应该跟名词。

　　改为：Today money to everyone is very important, for example, our eating, clothing, living, going ,etc.

　　了解了上述常见错误后，朗阁海外考试研究中心就带大家通过几篇考生的雅思范文，来深入了解这些错误发生的频率

和改进这些错误后会给文章带来的质的改变：

　　例一：

　　Writing task 1 (Cambridge 1- page 51):

　　The diagram shows the process of collecting information on the weather in order to produce reliable

forecasts in Australia Bureau of Meteorology. It can be clearly seen that information goes through three

main stages until it can be broadcast. These stages are incoming information, analysis and forecasting,

preparing the broadcast and finally, broadcast.

　　As it is shown in the diagram, first, information is gathered via satellite, radar, and drifting buoy.

The information from satellite is transmitted to radar. Satellite, itself, takes photos. All the

information provided by these three tools are integrated into satellite photos, radar screen, and synoptic

charts. Then, they are analyzed and forecast. This information is sent to computers in order to prepare the

broadcast. Finally, up-to-date information is broadcast via TV, radio, and recorded announcement.

　　In conclusion, the diagram shows that there are various stages in preparing and

　　broadcast of latest news on the weather and that radar has a fundamental role in gathering data. Also,

the most comprehensive information is obtained from synoptic charts.
例二：

　　Writing task 2

　　Smoking tobacco should be made illegal like other dangerous drugs. Agree or disagree?

　　In the world today where stresses and tensions are at high degree, some people appeal to smoke

cigarettes. They think that by means of cigar they can relax themselves, while it is obviously shown how

harmful tobacco smoking is and it is clear why it should be banned in public. Smoking, at a glance, has

many noxious effects on body. Some harmful aspects are proved and shown on body, on economy, and on the

air.

　　Taking body into account, tobacco smoking has so many hazardous effects. W.H.O reports that 85 per cent

of lung cancers are caused by cigarette smoking .On the other hand, recent research studies show that low

birth weight is more common among the children of smoker mothers. Another effect of tobacco on the body is

its risk for heart diseases. Smoking is the major cause of heart attacks. These examples simply show the

perils of tobacco smoking to the body.

　　Furthermore, cigarette trading these days has become a lucrative business around the world, especially

within developed countries. This subject leads to extraction of millions of dollars from developing

countries in order to import cigars. This currency that is spent on