英语四六级写作：增强语句表现力方法

纵观多年来四、六级英语(论坛)作文考试，考生作文成绩欠佳的主要原因除了准确性和连贯性差之外，语句软弱无力也是不容忽略的一个方面。因此在英语写作教学中，如何增强语句表现力的问题必须引起我们足够的重视，以提高学生写作的表达质量。为此，笔者结合自己的写作教学实践，针对该项技能的训练提出了一些切实可行的有效做法，供广大同仁和英语学习者参考借鉴。
一、避免使用语意弱的“be”动词。
1、把句中的表语转换为不同的修饰语。例如：
Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (转换为前置定语)
Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (转换为并列结构作后置定语)
2、将作表语用的形容词或名词变为行为动词。例如：
1) Weak: The team members are good players。
Revision: The team members play well。
2) Weak: One worker’s plan is the elimination of tardiness。
Revision: One worker’s plan eliminates tardiness。
3、在以“here”或“there”开头的句子中，把“be”动词后的名词代词变成改写句的主语。例如：
1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion。
Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists。
2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered。
Revision: The books you ordered have arrived。
二、多用语意具体的动词，保持句意简洁明了。
例如：
1、Poor: My supervisor went past my desk。
Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk。
2、Poor: She is a careful shopper。
Better: She compares prices and quality。
三、尽量运用主动语态。
例如：
1、Weak: The organization has been supported by charity。
Better: Charity has supported the organization。
2、Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate。
Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate。
四、防止使用语意冗长累赘的词语。
例如：
1、Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk。
Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk。
2、Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations。
Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation。
3、Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire。
Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire。
4、Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores。
Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores。
五、杜绝滥用陈旧词语或难懂的专业术语。
例如：
1、Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form。
Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals。
2、Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall。
Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall。

7.下面给出写好一篇作文的注意事项：
　　1.适当用被动代替主动，这样能更客观的反映事实, 句子开头不要总是用we / I （比如写结尾时不用we should pay attention to而用Attention should be paid to. ）举个经典结尾2004年六月六级作文的最后一段：It is ,therefore, high time that some applicable approaches were implemented by the service industry like that. Thus， its competitive edge will be sharpened effectively.
　　2.善于使用插入语，比如说把副词、连接词等，作插入语放在中间，一般放在主语、动词或者助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。
　　如however / therefore /for example/I believe 做插入语放在中间，一般放在动词，助动词后，两边分别加上逗号。
　　比如说： Other individuals, however, take the attitude that …
　　3. 一定要学会换词，换形象，具体的代替太宽泛的。（考试中一般不要出现good, bad , many, thing, think, people, opinion 等等）比如上面例子中，applicable代替proper, approaches代替ways, implement代替carry out, sharpen one’’s competitive edge代替enhance one’’s competitiveness（提高某物竞争力）
　　下面举一篇我南京六级班上一位同学写的优秀作文(14分)的例子，看看他是如何运用各类写作技巧的。这位同学把老师上课讲的各类写作手法和精彩替换和句型都用上了，作文有了很大的提高。
　　Computer and I By Simmy
　　I never forget the exceedingly thrilling day when my mother bought me a computer as birthday present, which exerted a tremendous fascination on me so that i indulged myself in googling an army of useful information i had expected ,and enjoy a sea of melodious classic music. That night I was sleepless, feeling that the whole world belonged to me.
　　exceedingly 替换 very
　　thrilling 替换 exciting
　　sth. exert a tremendous fascination on sb 替换 sb. be interested in sth.
　　google 替换 search
　　an army of 替换 a lot of
　　The dawn of the new century witnessed the increasing popularity of computers. Coincident with the advancement of science and technology, computers pouring into the current society as a fashion are appealing to growing individuals. It is no exaggeration to say we have been submerged by them, in large measure!
　　The dawn of the new century witnessed 是一个精彩句型，用来描述在某个时期发生了什么事情；
　　Increasing popularity 替换 more and more popular
　　Coincident with … 非常地道的词汇，表达＂与…一致＂的意思，替换 With …
　　Advancement 替换 development
　　Pour into ( flood into / swarm into )替换 enter into
　　Current ( currently )替换 now
　　Appeal to sb. 替换 sb. be interested in sth.
　　Growing individuals 替换 more and more people
　　It is no exaggeration to say 经典句型，说某事是毫不夸张的
For a start, we can, freely, search desired information at any moment . Little by little, our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. Additionally, we can get huge recreations online by chatting, playing games, or delivering email.
　　For a start 替换 To begin with
　　We can, freely, search 用了插入语的写作手法
　　our knowledge will be well enriched, and our horizons will be greatly broadened. 用了非常精彩的被动