成长中可能没人告诉你的20件事

There are so many things I wish I had known while growing up. No one ever tells you the hard truths of life. Maybe it’s because they can’t stomach it, or maybe it’s because they think it’s just something you have to experience firsthand to understand. Here are twenty things nobody told you while growing up that would’ve been nice to know beforehand:

真希望我在成长时能知道这些事情，可惜没人告诉过我生活的无情现实。或许是因为他们也无法忍受，抑或在他们看来，一切都得靠自己经历领悟。下面这20个道理没人在你成长时告诉过你，现在我希望你能提前明白：

 

1. You’re Going to Spend A Lot of Time Figuring Stuff Out

你要花很多时间才能搞明白某些事情

Unless you’re one of the lucky few who already knows what their passion is and what you really enjoy, you will be spending a lot of time trying new things and figuring out what you’re good at and what you like. Don’t be afraid to try new things and fail at them; failing builds character. You have a lot of growing up to do in your 20s, a lot of self-examination and exploration. Use this time wisely to get to know yourself as best as you can–not that you won’t change as you continue to get older, but it’s definitely a time of discovery, getting to know oneself and what you want in this world and what you have to contribute to the world.

除非你是极少数的幸运儿，一早清楚自己的所向所往，否则你会花很长时间一直尝试，直到最终明白自己擅长什么又喜欢什么。别害怕尝试和失败；失败塑造性格。20几岁时，你有许多成长机会，会经历无数次反省和探索。所以，请理智把握这段时光，尽力了解自己——因为年纪再大些后，你基本就定型了。这个阶段，你需要去发现并了解自我，弄清楚自己想要什么、能为这个世界贡献什么。

 

2. Don’t Expect Smooth Seas

别指望一帆风顺

There will be many challenges, obstacles and curve balls swung your way. Just try to take life as it comes. Don’t fight against the current because you’ll just wear yourself out. If there’s a door that is standing wide open for you and another that you’re trying to get through by knocking it down, sometimes it’s best to take the door that’s already open for you. In other words don’t try to be someone/something you’re not.

成长途中会遇到无数挑战、障碍和挫折，这时请顺其自然。若逆流而上，你只会精疲力竭。如果面前有两扇门：一扇门迎面敞开，另一扇门却紧闭待敲；那最好选择已经敞开的那扇门。也就是说，不要试图成为有悖于自我的其他人。

 

3. Learn About Personal Finance Now

现在就学会个人理财

Learn how to budget and manage your money, how to open a checking/savings account, and how to use credit wisely and live within your means. Your future self will thank you for it. Buy quality items you can keep around for a long time to come, not cheap crap that breaks that you’ll have to buy again in a year. Invest in yourself, your education, your personal improvement, your health and your relationships to others.

学会预算开支，设立储蓄账户，在力所能及的范围内理智使用信用卡。以后你会受益匪浅。买持久耐用的高质量产品，而不是那种每年都得更换的低档货。为个人成长、教育、健康及人际关系进行投资。

 

4. Assume Change Will Come

相信何时都会改变

Life is about change; don’t fight it and just go with it. Learn from your mistakes and grow. Let go of things you can’t change. Sometimes change will be so painful you will want to rip your heart out, but you’ll be okay if you just hang on and know that no matter what happens, you will be alright. Win, lose or draw, life will go on and you’ll get another chance to start your life over if things haven’t gone according to plan.

生活就是改变；与其抗拒，不如接受。从错误中吸取教训并获得成长。若无力改变事情，那就请放手。有时改变令人痛苦、心碎不堪；但只要坚持相信“不管怎样，一切都会安好”，你便能闯过去。不论输赢还是平局，生活总会继续；倘若事与愿违，总还有机会重新开始。

 

5. Keep Your Plans Loose

计划要宽松灵活

Speaking of plans, keep them loose and flexible. It’s good to have an idea of things you want to accomplish and where you want to be a couple years down the road, but honestly no one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow, let alone 5 years from now. It’s fine to make some plans but be flexible and willing to change them. Remember that people change and things happen that will push you in one direction or another. Don’t waste time beating yourself up because your plans didn’t go the way you wanted. Don’t worry about things you can’t change; focus on making new plans/goals and where you will go from here.

计划要宽松灵活。你清楚自己想要什么、几年后要实现什么样的目标，这无可厚非；但说实话，谁也不能保证明天会怎样，更别提5年后了。制定目标虽好，但不可太死板，而应保持灵活可变。请记住：人变物变，到时候说不定你也会改变方向。不要因为事情没有完全按照计划实施就万般苛责自己；不要为自己无法改变的事情纠结；立足当下，专心制定新的计划和目标吧。

 

6. Time Is a Limited Resource

时间是有限资源

Nothing lasts forever. Enjoy every moment that you have. Enjoy life and practice being present in the moment because it goes by extremely fast. There will be both good and bad times. The bad thing about up is there’s always a down. It’s important to really enjoy and savor the good moments in life because you’ll need those memories to reflect back on when the bad times come. The first 10 years after high school go by at a breakneck speed and before you know it you’re 28 and wondering how the time has escaped you.

世事无永恒。享受当下拥有的每一刻。享受生活、珍惜此时此刻吧，因为时光快如白驹过隙。生活总是有喜有悲、有起有落。珍惜生活中的美好时光，当不幸降临时，你还能拥有美好的回忆。高中毕业后的10年过得非常快，眨眼你就到了28岁，诧异这时间到底是怎么飞逝而过的。

 

7. Life is Hard

生活是残酷的

When you’re a teenager, you’re just at the beginning of your life’s lessons. Life is the toughest teacher you will ever have. “Life is a cruel teacher. She gives the test first, then the lesson.” Life will throw everything that it can at you; it will try to break you and choke you until you can’t breathe, but you can’t let it.

青春年少的你现在才刚刚开始人生历程。生活是最严峻的老师。“生活是严师，先设考验，后给教训。”生活会想方设法为难你：它打击你、压抑你，直到你无法呼吸。但你决不能让它得逞。

 

8. You’re Only Young Once

青春稍纵即逝

Enjoy being young while you are still young! Enjoy being young as much as possible. Enjoy the metabolism and the fun times. Cross stuff off your bucket list while you’re young because no one knows how much time you truly have. Don’t wait until you’re old and can’t or may not be able to do the things you really want to experience. Seriously, you may be broke while you’re young, but that doesn’t matter. You’ve got time to make money and settle down. Travel, explore and do what your heart desires now. You can still get married, have children and a household and career starting in your 20s if you want, but you should try to balance your life with equal amounts of responsibility and fun. The last thing you want to do is look back on missed chances.

趁着年轻赶紧享受吧！尽情享受青春时光，经历成长、感受快乐。趁着年轻赶紧实现你的愿望清单，因为时间稍纵即逝。不要等老了无法去做时才追悔莫及。或许，年轻的你一穷二白，但那又怎样，你还年轻，总有时间挣钱安家置业。现在，你应该去旅行、去探索、去追寻内心的渴望。只要你想，你也可以在20几岁时结婚生子、成家立业；但你也可以尝试平衡生活，在担负责任的同时也能找点乐趣。最不该的就是任由机会流逝空悲切。

 

9. Make Your Health a Priority, Not an Option

健康是必选，不是可选

Once you get into your late 20s and early 30s your body is going to start losing metabolism and energy. You’re going to start going to bed earlier. Start eating better and exercising. Don’t think of it as a choice. Start developing a healthier lifestyle and soon it will become habit. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.

一旦到了二几、三十出头，人体新陈代谢就会变慢，精力也会慢慢下降。你会变得容易疲倦，必须早些上床睡觉；你要开始健康饮食、规律运动。不要觉得这些可有可无。开始尝试健康的生活方式，很快就会养成习惯。不论是生理还是心理，都请照顾好自己。

 

10. Attitude Determines Your Altitude

态度决定高度

Attitude is everything and that’s not something they teach you in school. Having a good attitude can make all the difference in your life. It makes life easier and happier when you have a positive outlook and are able to keep your attitude light and flexible when dealing with other people and with life’s challenges.

态度决定一切。这里的态度不同于你在学校学到的东西。良好的态度能让生活与众不同。如果你积极乐观，与人交往或 面对困难时能灵活自如，生活也会变得更舒畅更开心。

11. How You Treat People Matters

待人接物很重要

Treating people with respect and decency can get you a long way in the world. Remember that “honey attracts more flies than vinegar.” Being nice to people really does actually matter to people. You won’t get anywhere tearing other people down or blaming others for anything. Take responsibility for yourself, your actions and your feelings.

礼貌得体待人可以使你走得更长远。请记住：“蜂蜜比酸醋招蜂多。”善待他人真的非常重要。不论在什么场合、为了什么事情，都不要挖苦责备他人。请为自己的言行情绪负责。

 

12. Relationships Don’t Come Easy

亲密关系不易形成

Choosing a life partner/spouse is hard. Relationships in general are hard, not just romantic ones but friendships and family relations as well. Stay in touch with people who you really care about and who really care about you. Make an effort to stay an active person in their life if you really care. You will not have as many close friends as you get older and you will probably lose some friends as well. Remember that it is okay, not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay forever; let them go and cherish the people who are still in your life.

选择生活伴侣并不容易。亲密关系都不易形成：不仅是恋爱关系，朋友关系和亲人关系也是如此。选择真正在乎你而你又非常喜欢的人。如果你当真在乎，那请在他们的生活里保持积极乐观。亲密朋友不会随着年龄的增长而变得越来越多，相反，你甚至会失去一些朋友。但你也不必太介意，毕竟生活中不是所有人都能一直陪伴身边；离开的姑且离开，现有的更应珍惜。

 

13. Be Prepared To Deal With Changes in Relationships

关系有变时，要懂得处理

Look at your time with exes and be thankful; even though it didn’t work out, at least you got to experience it and learn from it. You rolled the dice and lost, but at least you took a chance! Don’t think that just because something wasn’t meant to be for your entire life doesn’t mean it didn’t add value and was right where you needed to be at the time.

回望与前任的时光，请心存感激；虽然你们有缘无分，但至少你拥有过、收获过。虽然赌输了，但你至少抓住了机会！不要因为事情未尽人意就片面否定当时的价值与意义。

In your 20s, especially if you have a family, it gets harder and harder to spend time with friends because of so many different time demands. You will be pulled in every direction and it’s up to you to decide what your priorities are. Having a couple of close friends you can rely on can make a difference in your life. As they say “shared joy is doubled, shared sorrow is halved.”

20几岁时，如果你还建立了家庭，那么跟朋友厮混的时间会越来越少，因为占时间的事情变多了。事情四面八方涌来，你必须决定优先次序。如果能有几个好友，那会大有不同：因为朋友“既可以使快乐翻倍，又能让悲伤减半”。

 

14. Take Every Chance You Get

把握每一次机会

Life is about taking chances, grabbing opportunities and taking risks. Don’t be afraid to try something new, move somewhere new, work somewhere new, meet new people and learn something new.

生活就是要把握机遇、勇于冒险。别害怕尝试新鲜事物、移居陌生地方、进入新工作环境、认识新朋友或学习新东西。

 

15. Let Go of Expectations

抛开期望

Expectations ruin everything and most of the time our expectations are too high for those around us and for ourselves. No one is perfect and nothing is ever going to be perfect. The faster you can learn this and let go of too high or false expectations, the easier life will come to you. Expectations bring heartache and only cause harm. Expect nothing and appreciate everything.

期望搞砸一切。我们对自己及周围人的期望往往偏高。人无完人、金无足赤。若你能及早明白这一道理，放弃过高或离谱的期望，生活会轻松很多。期望使人紧张受伤。停止期望、享受一切。

 

16. Life Is Complex. Try Not to Worry

生活复杂，请勿自扰

Don’t worry because everyone has ups and downs. It’s just how life is. Life is extremely messy and complicated, but don’t despair because things will work out in the end. Keep living and keep on doing what you enjoy. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

每个人都会经历起起落落，请不要纠结烦恼。生活原本如此——混乱而复杂。所以，请不要感到绝望，事情最后总归会柳暗花明。继续生活，继续做自己喜欢的事。何必把自己逼得太紧。

 

17. You Get What You Put In

种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆

Happiness, love and confidence come from within. Life is what you make of it and what you put into it. You can create whatever life you want, and if you create that life and it doesn’t work for you anymore, guess what? You can create a whole new life that does work. You may not have a choice in things that happen to you but you have a choice in how you react to them. Try to stay positive no matter what life throws at you and get through the tough times by talking to friends, family and a counselor if you need to.

快乐、爱与自信源于内心。你付出什么，生活就会反馈给你什么。你可以随心创造自己想要的生活，如果创造的生活不尽人意，那你完全可以从头再来！你或许奈何不了周围发生的事情，但你至少可以选择如何应对它们。不论生活发生什么，请保持积极乐观；遇到困难时，可以跟朋友、家人或者咨询人员倾诉。

 

18. You Will Face Rejection

你会遭遇拒绝

You will be rejected at some point in your life. Rejection hurts at the very core of your being, but try not to take it too personally. Oftentimes, when you’re rejected it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person rejecting you. Take it in stride, let it slide off your back and move on. I know this is easier said than done, but it will go a long way in making you feel better and happier.

你会在生活的某个时刻遭遇拒绝。拒绝让你大受打击，但你不可太往心里去。有时候，被拒绝并不是你的问题，而是对方的责任。所以，请坦然面对、一笑而过，然后继续前行。我知道，说起来容易做起来难，但它能使你更舒心快乐。

 

19. You Will Not Have Everything Figured Out Anytime Soon

你不可能任何时候都能很快想通一切

If you don’t have everything figured out by the time you’re 30, you’re not alone. If you’re not where you want to be in your life or career, don’t sweat it, you still have time. Some people never figure out what they really want to do with their lives, but they get a lot of great experience, learn new things and can transfer their skills to many types of jobs. If you know what you want to do in life, start doing it immediately, practice it as much as possible and you will get better at it.

到了30岁还没弄明白一切？不止你一个人这样。如果还没得到渴望的生活或职业，也请不要焦躁，你还有时间。有些人从没想清楚自己真正想要什么，但他们却能不断尝试新鲜事物、积累丰富经验、学习各式岗位的技能。如果你清楚知道自己要的是什么，那就立刻去做，只要不断磨练，总能越做越好。

 

20. Love More and Keep Your Heart Open

敞开心怀，多付爱心

Love is all that really matters in the end.Give of yourself more than anything. Try to be patient, empathetic, understanding, caring and gentle with other people. Get to know people better by asking questions and listening attentively. People usually like to talk about themselves and questions are a great way to get conversations going. Love people for who they are, just as they are, and realize that everyone is a work in progress! Life is a continual work in progress. We’re all just trying to find our way, and we’re all confused and looking for contentment. Life is a journey, and happiness is not a destination to arrive at, but a way of living.

爱是最后的真谛，比任何东西都重要。请学会耐心、悲悯和理解，请关心并温柔对待他人。有疑而问、悉心倾听，以此更进一步了解他人。人们通常都喜欢谈论自己，提问是展开话题的好方法。热爱人们本真的模样，发掘每个人的进步！生活本身就在不断进步，我们都在努力追寻、都心存困惑、也都渴求慰藉。生活是场旅程，幸福并不是理应到达的目的地，而只是一种生活的状态。